24 and I Still Don't Have a Clue

As we get older, our perception of time changes. When I was little it always annoyed me to hear adults say, "Where does the time go?" or "Why...it seems like only yesterday you were this little girl..." I am beginning to understand that the concept of time, and the way it is measured; not only changes as we get older, but the value of time changes as well. As we get older, our time becomes more precious to us. We understand that the hours we spend at work, and hours spent away from our loved ones are hours...that are gone. They are moments that have passed without any significant memories being made. Vanished. Poof. Gone.

We also begin to understand, while a year is something that goes by incredibly fast; it is also a large window of opportunity for change, and understanding ourselves and the world we live in, better.

A year ago, I looked into the mirror and saw a perfectly put-together girl woman. A little too chunky, maybe. She was a little too this, and a little too that...However, a year ago, when I looked into the mirror I was so sure of who I was. Then my whole life changed. I graduated college, married my best friend, lost my horses (which felt more like losing part of my soul) and traveled to some pretty amazing destinations which helped me realize something:

I was also incredibly and unbelievably... full of shit.
In a world that is constantly changing and evolving...isn't is just a little presumptious to think we have a handle on anything? Isn't it arrogant to think that in the midst of a constantly changing world that we have a perfect stronghold on our surroundings? (These are rhetorical questions. Yes. Yes, it is.)Yesterday, I sat in front of my mirror:

No makeup on my face.
My hair in its natural Hermione-Granger-like state.
Still feeling chubby.

I sat there and looked at myself...the way I always look, and I felt this immense sense of relief realizing...I don't have a clue who I am. All of the years that I've spent hours making myself appear a certain way, and I'm finally figuring out: I am still changing. The person I am right now, as I type these words, won't be the same person a year from now.

A year ago at Disney World.

My Heart

I have been thinking all night how to describe the current state of my heart. For someone who has a love of the English language, and gets excited by discovering unique vocabulary...I am at a loss.

Therefore, I find myself going with the old Southern standby: 

Blessed.

Merriam-Webster defines the word, blessed, as : (adj) blissfully happy or contented.